Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts

Monday, October 17, 2011

Here I Am

Nobody's worth comes from their job. Not from the money you make, nor the things you have. Not what you do with your day or from the people that you serve. Not what you create, buy, or sell. Not your awards, or your family, your husband, or your children.

Your worth comes from God alone, and you know it by doing what God calls you to.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Angels We Have Heard on High

The Eucharistic Prayer during Mass has always been the occasion for powerful encounters for me. When I altar serve (or have done, since my current parish doesn't make room for adult servers) it is always with great difficulty that I don't pass out. Of course that could be the acrylic talking, as in the hot robes, but I never experience that anywhere else. Some of my best revelations/conversations with God happen then, even when I am completely focused.

Today was Nico's turn. Right in the middle, just before the Epiklesis, he whispered to me, "Look, Mommy, here they come." He waves his hand in the air in an arc above the altar. "They're here," he said, "the Angels." I repeated, in our custom, "They're here, the Angels." He was pleased, and hugged me close.

They're here, the Angels.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Saint Gerard Bread

First, the recipe, and a picture, then story time!

Saint Gerard Bread
(White Sandwich Bread)

(using Kitchen-Aid mixer with dough hook)

2 cups warm milk
4 ½ tsp yeast (or 2 pkgs)
2 tbs sugar
8 cups flour
4 tsp salt
2 tbs butter at room temperature

1. Put the warm milk, yeast and sugar in a small bowl. Then get all the rest of your ingredients together while the milk mixture and yeast hang out together for a few minutes.

2. Put flour in mixing bowl and stir in salt. Make well in the flour and place butter at bottom of well.

3. Pour the yeast mixture into the center and wait 30 seconds, giving butter a chance to soften. Gently lower the dough hook. Begin to knead, first on stir then move it up. As it is mixing add a little warm water, one tbs at a time with at least 30 sec in between additions, or more flour to get this texture just right. For fluffy, soft bread with a tight crumb, the dough should just hold together in a ball but feel dry to the touch and should not stick to your fingers. Requires some trial and error. You may need to knead it some at the end, adding a little water to your palms. Total kneading time about ten minutes.

4. Put in covered bowl to rise for an hour.

[If you need a warm, no-draft location, leave oven off and put a bowl of hot water on the bottom while dough rises. The oven stays at perfect temperature for rising. Anytime you use the oven for rising you must remove the dough before you preheat the oven for baking!]

5. After an hour, punch down dough, degassing it, and remove the dough from the bowl. Divide in half and cover. Let rest for 10 minutes.

6. Shape each ball into a loaf. [I like to pat into a rectangle, then roll it up, pinching the seam and tucking in the ends.] Put into well-greased loaf pans, seam-side down. Cover and let rise another hour or so. Loaves should rise well over the top of the pan. If not, let rise a bit more.

7. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Bake approximately 45 minutes. When it is golden brown and hollow-sounding it is done.

8. Remove loaves from pans immediately and cool on wire rack. The crust will soften after it cools.



Saint Gerard Bread


Are You Willing to Do the Miraculous?

Coming to this bread started as a search for Saint Gerard. And the search for Saint Gerard started as a search for a patron saint of motherhood and for those trying to conceive.

See SaintGerard.comSaints.SQPN.com, Saints and Angels.

My husband and I have a son, Nico, who is 21 months as of this writing, and we would like more. We are committed to "trying" yet not stressing over it. The last thing we need is for our intimacy to become a source of further stress in our lives when it should be a source of strength.

But sometimes this is easier said than done, particularly for a woman, whose body cycles give her nudges and reminders that prevent her from completely ignoring it. So I decided to look toward the saints for some extra comfort and peace of mind. I wound up praying for a miracle.

Sometimes my conversations with God or the saints are like that. I begin with one intention, but through the back and forth conversation, the barriers break down, the truth comes out. This time I had to admit that I really am hoping to get pregnant. We both would like Nico to have a sibling. At least one, preferable two. I hate feeling like the clock is ticking. All life is a miracle. Is that what I was asking for? A miracle?

And Saint Gerard said, "You want a miracle. If I help you, are willing to do the miraculous? You know what needs to be done. You need to take care of yourself. Eat right and exercise. This is the miraculous. I will help you if you are willing."

I knew what he meant. The miraculous is not necessarily something shocking and unexpected. Sometimes it is the very ordinary. I knew that his help came with no promises. All of Life is always only in God's hands. But I know that I need to be ready for whatever Life God brings to me, and the way to be ready is to take care of myself. And I knew that St. Gerard would help me, because sometimes it takes a real dedication to treat yourself with the same care and love and respect that you would give your own child without hesitation.

In my reading about Saint Gerard, some mention was made of Saint Gerard Bread, eating it as a sign of solidarity with all of those whom Gerard helped in his lifetime. I could find no recipe. So I decided to make one. What kind of bread should I use? The answer was simple- the bread of everyday, ordinary life. The bread of Motherhood - of Parenthood, really. Because my first desire for seeking Saint Gerard was more about becoming a better and better parent. As a new stay-at-home mom, there is still a lot that I have to learn about my craft. It is a calling that I have followed with enthusiasm, but it is not without challenges.

So I played around with this recipe until it was what I was looking for: simple, everyday bread that is yet delicious. The miraculous of the everyday. The way it is to be a parent.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

2009 A New Year!

I never thought I could be so happy, until I held my baby boy in my arms.
I experience that same boundless love just thinking about him. And more importantly, the experience of that love has made me realize that I have really been missing out in the love department. Now that I have felt it, I know that I can have that same love, that same determination for good in many areas. I never thought that I could learn to love myself, but I finally have. I want to keep working on being healthy and happy, on forgiving others and myself, on being truly kind but also assertive.

This past year has been a tough one: difficult birth and recovery, stalled projects, stalled weightloss, deaths, divorce and growing pains in various relationships.
And yet there has been great joy and discovery, and above all great faith. Faith in God, faith in myself, other's faith in me and in their own lives.
But here I am now, feeling blessed and lifted up. Feeling more loved and loving now than ever before, feeling divine empowerment even in the midst of a troubled world and an uncertain future.

My God, my God, you have not forsaken us!

Blessings to all in the new year!

Happy New Year, Y'all!
I am indeed glad that this New Year has begun, but I am also a little fearful. This is the year of my dissertation, after all. It is a huge project. Clearly I need a plan to break it down (Break it down?! This is hand-carved mahogany! -Emperor's New Groove, Kronk). Tomorrow I will do the following for the dissertation:

1. Read the Kleinklausz (sp) book so that it can go back to the library on Monday;
2. Start getting a handle on where I am at with my bibliography and books I have out and files of articles and reading notes, etc.

If DS naptime works out I might also go in the morning to a playgroup, mostly because I could really stand to get out of the house!

Also, I will continue my New Year's Cleaning project around the house.

I am praying for DH while he is in Haiti (10 more days until he arrives home).